(this is a post from a Father's Day past)
A few months back, just before I turned 52, I was having lunch with my friend Bob. Bob and I have lunch every Thursday and I always enjoy our conversations as he is a thoughtful, insightful man.
When Bob talks, I listen.
At this particular lunch I was telling Bob about my dad, who left when I was 6, and how it had been decades since I saw him last.
That on my 40th birthday a card and letter arrived from my dad telling me of his regrets, that a lot of water had passed under the bridge, and that he would love to visit. Reading his words didn’t provoke any emotions, the anger of him leaving us had long since gone, but I didn’t feel the need for a reunion either. The letter went into a drawer and I never replied.
Bob asked why; I told him that “at this point in my life I didn’t feel the need for father”. Bob nodded thoughtfully then responded, “ya, but maybe he has the need for a son”.
It was like I had been struck by lighting. I got it.
I found out where my dad was living and made arrangements to go see him.
He died before I got there.
Regrets don’t come from the things we do, sure there are things we might not do again, but we learn from them as there was a lesson in there somewhere for us.
The true regret comes from the things we don’t do.
You too may be at a point in your life where you don’t feel the need for a father, but maybe your dad needs you.
Something to think about.
Happy Father's Day dad.
(dad & me)
A few months back, just before I turned 52, I was having lunch with my friend Bob. Bob and I have lunch every Thursday and I always enjoy our conversations as he is a thoughtful, insightful man.
When Bob talks, I listen.
At this particular lunch I was telling Bob about my dad, who left when I was 6, and how it had been decades since I saw him last.
That on my 40th birthday a card and letter arrived from my dad telling me of his regrets, that a lot of water had passed under the bridge, and that he would love to visit. Reading his words didn’t provoke any emotions, the anger of him leaving us had long since gone, but I didn’t feel the need for a reunion either. The letter went into a drawer and I never replied.
Bob asked why; I told him that “at this point in my life I didn’t feel the need for father”. Bob nodded thoughtfully then responded, “ya, but maybe he has the need for a son”.
It was like I had been struck by lighting. I got it.
I found out where my dad was living and made arrangements to go see him.
He died before I got there.
Regrets don’t come from the things we do, sure there are things we might not do again, but we learn from them as there was a lesson in there somewhere for us.
The true regret comes from the things we don’t do.
You too may be at a point in your life where you don’t feel the need for a father, but maybe your dad needs you.
Something to think about.
Happy Father's Day dad.
